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" Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else? "

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" It's funny how seeing a love story never gets boring, because it's the dream, isn't it? It's the dream to have a true connection with another human being. "

" It's a funny thing: my name in Arabic means hope, so I suppose I have to live by that principle. Hope is desire, feeling, and investing in a projection of something that doesn't yet exist. At its best, you witness its alchemy in your life, turning something that was once in the mind into reality. At its worst, it's delusion. "

" Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell. "

" Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. "

" A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. "

" It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy. "

" Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups. "

Cathy Guisewite

" Any joke can be funny, but not any joke is funny. Any joke has the potential to be hilarious to you, but more importantly, the joke has the potential to not be funny to you but to someone else. "

Phoebe Robinson

" I don't mean to be funny. "

" I wasn't close to my father, but I wanted to be all my life. He had a funny sense of humor, and he laughed all the time - good and loud, like I do. He was a gay Irish gentleman and very good-looking. And he wanted to be close to me, too, but we never had much time together. "

" The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, 'Oh no, it's on the house.' "

Richard Branson

" An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it. "

" It's a funny old world. "

Margaret Thatcher

" It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. "

" I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. "

" If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. "

Alice Roosevelt Longworth

" It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life. "

" I had no desire to get up onstage and tell jokes. I prefer to stand next to really funny people. "

" It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. "

" If you're public speaking, imagine yourself feeling confident; if you're nervous about a date and thinking, 'I'm gonna be a dork,' picture yourself being funny. Then it will be familiar to your brain. "

Lindsey Stirling

" Isn't it funny how babies laugh a lot? I read a toddler, a young child laughs 300 times a day. The average adult laughs, like, four times a day. God put it in them. He put the laugh in us, but I think sometimes we let life get us down, you know, have bad breaks, and we lose our breaks. "

" I really love showing up at work at 10 A.M., trying to make it funny until 3 P.M., and then going home. It's like comedy bankers' hours. "

" Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day. "

Jennifer Aniston

" When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic. "

" I used to work at NASA in Virginia. It was nothing glamorous; I was just tasked with making code compile for obscure projects, and I wasn't very good at it. Now I spend most of my time drawing pictures and looking at funny things on the Internet, which in retrospect is largely what I did at my old job, too. "

" The fact is I'm choosy, but mainly about a man's character. He has to be interesting, funny and clever. I don't even mind if he's not very good-looking. "

" There's always going to be someone as funny as you or funnier. "

" Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter. "

" My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain. "

" It's funny because I want my teeth to be, like, neon 'Real Housewives' white, but mine have stopped taking to teeth whitening. When I talk to my dentist, I'm like, 'They can be that white,' and he's like, 'Veneers can be that white.' "

Christine Teigen