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" As for our majority... one is enough. "
Benjamin Disraeli
Majority
Our
Enough
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" Every girls' night needs a funny movie and a good conversation about guys! My friends and I also love picking outfits out for each other to try on at slumber parties. It's so fun. "
Jennette McCurdy
Night
Friends
Fun
" As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm thinking, 'Who cares? They're laughing.' If you go on stage, and they're laughing at you full-on for 60 minutes? You know, whatever puts them in the seats. "
Larry the Cable Guy
Me
You
Know
" When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine. "
David Brenner
Funny
Bar
Looking
" Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot. "
Justin Bieber
Kind
Hot
Funny
" I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair. "
Bette Davis
Kiss
Washed
Ya
" It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified. "
Gilbert K. Chesterton
Matter
Down
Fall
" Is everything funny? For me, yes. There's a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there's something in there that'll make you laugh. "
Kevin Hart
Laugh
Funny
Positive
" I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me. "
Ellen DeGeneres
Myself
Being Myself
People
" Filming is a funny combination of having a good time and not being able to wait until it's over. "
Nicole Holofcener
Time
Funny
Having A Good Time
" Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. "
Robert Benchley
Drawing
Funny
Nothing
" Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. "
Josh Billings
Like
Funny
Cologne
" The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. "
Dave Barry
Building
Water
Universe
" When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. "
George Burns
Funny
Only
Sea
" If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. "
Clint Eastwood
Buy
Guarantee
You
" Maybe people don't see me as believable playing a person of today. I guess I'm just more realistic in a corset and funny hairstyles. "
Katie McGrath
Today
Funny
People
" It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. "
Dave Barry
Body
Funny
Person
" I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me. "
Dylan Moran
Recognition
Me
Low
" Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.' "
Ron Funches
Funny
Me
Nice
" Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting. "
Bill Gates
Funny
Day
Rich
" Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends. "
Eminem
Circle
Trust
Small
" My mother was a nurse, and in her era, most diseases weren't understood; people put mustard plasters on knees and rubbed camphor on your chest if you had a cough and did funny things to you if you had tuberculosis - all these things that really made very little difference once proper treatments were brought in. "
Barry Marshall
Difference
Funny
You
" It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance. "
Thomas Sowell
Realize
Funny
Ignorance
" The musicals that I loved, growing up - many, many. 'Singing in the Rain,' of course, is a classic, I love 'Meet Me in St. Louis.' I love 'Funny Face,' Stanley Donen's beautiful movie. It's really countless for me. "
Rob Marshall
Beautiful
Singing
Rain
" The services in wartime are fit only for desperadoes, but in peace are only fit for fools. "
Benjamin Disraeli
Peace
Wartime
Fools
" I'm a funny guy. You've got to be able to make fun of yourself. We only live once. "
Jon Pardi
Funny
Yourself
You
" Some people say funny things, but I say things funny. "
Don Rickles
Funny
Things
People
" I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. "
Groucho Marx
Evening
Wonderful
Had
" Let's have some new cliches. "
Samuel Goldwyn
Some
Cliches
Funny
" Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day. "
Jennifer Aniston
Funny
Same
Life
" I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time. "
Will Ferrell
Time
Funny
Right