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" If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong. "

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" I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. "

" When I was young, I'd watch guys on 'The Tonight Show', Buddy Hackett, guys like that, where all they'd be is funny. Later, I remember, on 'Late Night with Letterman', I remember he'd have Jay Leno and Richard Lewis as first guests and the entire point was to entertain and be funny, and I think talk shows have kind of lost that. "

" All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. "

" We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny: it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. "

" When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side. "

" My favorite type of pet has always been a dog. They're loyal, kind, and offer endless affection. My friend Eric says, 'The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.' Funny thought. "

" I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person. "

" I'm so single. It's funny. I'm usually a relationship girl. I love being in love and having a partner in crime. But it's good to be your own partner in crime. God, that makes me sound like I have multiple-personality disorder. "

" I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny. "

" My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration. "

" For a Catholic kid in parochial school, the only way to survive the beatings - by classmates, not the nuns - was to be the funny guy. "

George A. Romero

" I get tired of comedies where there are a bunch of funny guys and a beautiful woman who doesn't do anything funny. And I don't like books where there's a rough-and-tumble boy and a really clever, snotty girl. That's just not my experience with teenagers. "

" Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn. "

" Humor has become so cliche and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable. "

" With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny. "

" Almost anything can be funny if said the right way - but it has to be said the right way. "

" If you're OK with being clumsy, it's funny. But if you are super embarrassed, people are going to laugh at you. "

" I've been fascinated by the Internet from the very start. In 2001, I had made a funny black-and-white film called 'How to Dance Properly,' a short video of me dancing to a Madonna song. I sent it to 17 of my friends on a Thursday, and by Monday, one million people a day were logging on to view it. "

" It's obviously funny to be a meme, so I could be down with it in that regard, but it also belittles one's art. "

" Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. "

" I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. "

Political Party

" Comedy is only funny when there's real pain. "

" As a small child, I could watch anything happen and tell a story, and it was funny. "

" She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years. "

J. B. Priestley

" You know, what's funny to one person is not at all to someone else. "

" I don't think I would do a straight late-night talk show, like a 'Tonight Show' kind of thing. But I'm open to whatever is done well. I don't have any agenda. I'm not like Fugazi - I'm not trying to be just so punk rock until I die. Whatever is funny is good. "

" It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life. "

" The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand. "

" I'm not funny. What I am is brave. "

" I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers. "