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" When I left 'The Garry Moore Show,' I signed a 10-year contract with CBS. "
Carol Burnett
Contract
CBS
Left
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" I eat very well, and I do Pilates. "
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" Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up. "
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" Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing. "
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" I'm so happy with what has happened in my life. "
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" It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington. "
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" You have to really want it, and don't take it personally if you don't get a job. Because sometimes you're not the type. And sometimes it's somebody else's turn. "
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" Because nobody goes through life without a scar. "
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" I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany. "
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" I come from Texas, and my grandmother and mother were born in Arkansas. "
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Grandmother
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" I had always been quiet and studious in school. I was the high school editor of the newspaper. "
Carol Burnett
Quiet
Newspaper
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" I've always been able to recount things, and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that. "
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Always
Been
Good
" It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others. "
Carol Burnett
Kindness
Selfish
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" I prefer doing TV, where it can be different every time. "
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Time
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" Just scream! You vent, and the body just feels good after a good old yell. "
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Scream
Good
Body
" But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table. "
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Dream
Make It Happen
Know
" Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? I miss that. "
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Imagination
Edgy
Laugh
" Ask anyone who's successful how they got there, you're going to hear a different story. "
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You
Story
Going
" I love Maya Rudolph. She's very multitalented herself. "
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She
Very
Herself
" On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we'd sit around the kitchen table - it was a cardboard table with a linoleum top - and sing. "
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Sit
Good
Kitchen
" I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt something else was out there. "
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" Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. "
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Motivational
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Life
" You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself. "
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You
Walk
Know
" I don't watch sitcoms. I really don't. My problem with them is they take so long to film them that there's no spontaneity. I want to see that. "
Carol Burnett
Long
Watch
Want
" I was very entertained by Betty Grable and Judy Garland. "
Carol Burnett
Entertained
Betty
Garland
" I'm hooked on Glenn Close in 'Damages.' "
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Glenn Close
Hooked
Damages
" I very much enjoyed doing 'Law & Order,' playing a killer - that was fun, and they had a family feel around the set, so it was a happy show to do even though the subject matter was quite the opposite. "
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Happy
Law
Fun
" I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows. "
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Variety
Weird
Show
" I am not a person who yells at all, but I realized that I have always felt so good after doing the Tarzan yell, after doing Charo, or screaming as Eunice. "
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" Comedy is tragedy - plus time. "
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Comedy
Tragedy
Plus
" But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh. "
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Living
People
Life