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" It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. "

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" The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little. "

" What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin. "

" A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. "

" Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. "

" It put our energies to sleep and made visionaries of us - dreamers and indolent... It is good to begin life poor; it is good to begin life rich - these are wholesome; but to begin it prospectively rich! The man who has not experienced it cannot imagine the curse of it. "

" I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough. "

" She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot. "

" My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. "

" There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded. "

" The secret of getting ahead is getting started. "

Getting Started

" Loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it. "

" Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean. "

" What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself. "

" Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. "

" Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. "

" The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all. "

" A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar. "

" Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. "

" All right, then, I'll go to hell. "

" The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year. "

" Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. "

" Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. "

" If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. "

" When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear. "

" Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late. "

" Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. "

Do The Right Thing

" Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul. "

" Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. "

" All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. "

" The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. "