Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience. "

Related Quotes:

" I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's. "

" But what I was going to say was, I just figured I'm going to go boldly in the direction of my dreams, say it as Thoreau would say, and just see where it takes me. "

" I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today.' 'Be nice to people in sneakers.' "

" I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs. "

" I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.' "

" I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me. "

" If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters. "

" To me, comedy is a game. "

" I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'. "

" But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. "

" I know about Woodstock probably as much as your average person who is over 30, where I'd know Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Grateful Dead. "

" As a creative person, you want to have a foothold and sense of progress. "

" When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults. "

" Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. "

" I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.' "

" Let no man's deathbed be a futon. "

" A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive. "

" For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. I'd come home and go to church and everybody would say, 'Oh, my God. Demetri, you're working at the White House.' "

" The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. "

" But long story short, I didn't start doing stand-up because I wanted to have a TV show or be an actor or even wanted to write sketch comedy. I got into stand-up because I love stand-up. "

" I'm always excited to try something I haven't done. "

" Usually, my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of it. "

" Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. "

" I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale. "

" I love Steven Wright. I was in high school in the '80s, and there was a lot of stand up on television. "

" My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal. "

" I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!' "

" I went to law school. I found it interesting for the first three weeks. "

" I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major. "

" I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny. "