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" The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system. "
Kinky Friedman
Teachers
Getting
Screwed
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" The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life. "
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My Life
" Young people are the key to this election. "
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Key
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" A happy childhood... is the worst possible preparation for life. "
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Life
Preparation
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" Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get. "
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More
You
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" We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning. "
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First
Race
Winning
" Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test. "
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Because
Test
Students
" I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow. "
Kinky Friedman
Admit
Did
Swallow
" The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror. "
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Same
Admiring
Mirror
" I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough. "
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Far
Even
Become
" I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate. "
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Who
Try
People
" If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you. "
Kinky Friedman
You
Texan
Time
" Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail. "
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You
Love
Him
" I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow. "
Kinky Friedman
Drinking
Swallow
Admit
" I'll sign anything except bad legislation. "
Kinky Friedman
Legislation
Bad
Except
" I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us. "
Kinky Friedman
Gay
Support
Rest
" I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life. "
Kinky Friedman
Childhood
Life
Happy
" I see an issue I like, and I support it. "
Kinky Friedman
Issue
I See
Support
" Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people. "
Kinky Friedman
Job
Home
Traveled
" Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way. "
Kinky Friedman
Independents
Yes
Heart
" William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another. "
Kinky Friedman
William
Saint
Patron
" I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma! "
Kinky Friedman
Oklahoma
Keep
Us
" I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors. "
Kinky Friedman
Here
Truth
Colors
" May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore. "
Kinky Friedman
Respect
Me
You
" These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable. "
Kinky Friedman
Listen
People
Days
" I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you. "
Kinky Friedman
Head
You
Place
" Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest. "
Kinky Friedman
Better
Done
Work
" The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' "
Kinky Friedman
God
Thank God
Thank
" If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus. "
Kinky Friedman
Bus
Never
Leave
" How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? "
Kinky Friedman
You
Texas
Believe
" I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail. "
Kinky Friedman
Love
Money
Said