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" William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another. "
Kinky Friedman
William
Saint
Patron
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" The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system. "
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Teachers
Getting
Screwed
" I don't apologize to people with an agenda. "
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Agenda
Apologize
People
" I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you. "
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Head
You
Place
" No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions. "
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Life
My Life
Nothing
" I'll sign anything except bad legislation. "
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Legislation
Bad
Except
" Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people. "
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Job
Home
Traveled
" I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma! "
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Oklahoma
Keep
Us
" The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life. "
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Important
Value
My Life
" Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail. "
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You
Love
Him
" These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable. "
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Listen
People
Days
" The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' "
Kinky Friedman
God
Thank God
Thank
" We were a country band with a social conscience. "
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Country
Were
Social
" I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough. "
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Far
Even
Become
" A happy childhood... is the worst possible preparation for life. "
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Life
Preparation
Childhood
" Young people are the key to this election. "
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People
Key
Election
" I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life. "
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Childhood
Life
Happy
" Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get. "
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More
You
Politics
" We've had to be creative to get on the ballot. "
Kinky Friedman
Ballot
Get
Had
" I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow. "
Kinky Friedman
Admit
Did
Swallow
" If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you. "
Kinky Friedman
You
Texan
Time
" If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus. "
Kinky Friedman
Bus
Never
Leave
" Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. "
Kinky Friedman
Holder
Beer
Eye
" I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors. "
Kinky Friedman
Here
Truth
Colors
" And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians. "
Kinky Friedman
Better
Run
Musicians
" The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror. "
Kinky Friedman
Same
Admiring
Mirror
" How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? "
Kinky Friedman
You
Texas
Believe
" I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school. "
Kinky Friedman
Right
Now
Prayer
" I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow. "
Kinky Friedman
Drinking
Swallow
Admit
" We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians. "
Kinky Friedman
Got
Prisons
Politicians
" The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount. "
Kinky Friedman
Demand
Thing
Recount