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" I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma! "
Kinky Friedman
Oklahoma
Keep
Us
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" Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. "
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" I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate. "
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" I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you. "
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" Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get. "
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" We were a country band with a social conscience. "
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" May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore. "
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" The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' "
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" And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians. "
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" William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another. "
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" No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions. "
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Life
My Life
Nothing
" How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? "
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" I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow. "
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" A happy childhood... is the worst possible preparation for life. "
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" I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care. "
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Young
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" I'll sign anything except bad legislation. "
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Legislation
Bad
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" If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you. "
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" When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number. "
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Be The First
Telephone
Number
" If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus. "
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Bus
Never
Leave
" The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror. "
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Same
Admiring
Mirror
" I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors. "
Kinky Friedman
Here
Truth
Colors
" I don't apologize to people with an agenda. "
Kinky Friedman
Agenda
Apologize
People
" These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable. "
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Listen
People
Days
" I see an issue I like, and I support it. "
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Issue
I See
Support
" I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school. "
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Right
Now
Prayer
" I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow. "
Kinky Friedman
Drinking
Swallow
Admit
" You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing. "
Kinky Friedman
Financial
Life
Famous
" The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system. "
Kinky Friedman
Teachers
Getting
Screwed
" The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount. "
Kinky Friedman
Demand
Thing
Recount
" Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive. "
Kinky Friedman
Remember
Possessive
Singular
" I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes. "
Kinky Friedman
Want
Texas
Roads