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" You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor. "
Steven Wright
Life
Humor
Head
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" I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage. "
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" I love being Latina. I love our values, the way we're so in touch with others, our dark humor, how fun we are, how relaxed we are. I love how hard working, independent, and ambitious we are. "
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" To the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show's almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is. "
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" Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen. "
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" Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.' "
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