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" Abatement in the hostility of one's enemies must never be thought to signify they have been won over. It only means that one has ceased to constitute a threat. "

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" The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as 'Soho' poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent. "

Quentin Crisp

Genius

Poverty

Having

" The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right. "

" It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style. "

" Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. "

" The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster. "

" When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe? "

" I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. "

" Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps. "

" Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding. "

" Living en famille provides the strongest motives for rudeness combined with the maximum opportunity for displaying it. "

" However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police. "

Quentin Crisp

Man

Level

" In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis. "

" Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system has been lost? "

" My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it. "

" The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency. "

" Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh. "

" Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses. "

" It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give enough. "

" Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave. "

" Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors. "

" There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. "

" The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress. "

" For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook. "

" Sex is the last refuge of the miserable. "

" Manners are love in a cool climate. "

" It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the constant repetition of them that has this liberating effect. Tolerance is the result not of enlightenment, but of boredom. "

" Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin. "

" An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing. "

" If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. "

" The trouble with children is that they're not returnable. "

Quentin Crisp

Trouble

Children