Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" The trouble with children is that they're not returnable. "

Related Quotes:

" Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors. "

" Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh. "

" Sex is the last refuge of the miserable. "

" Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are. "

" There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. "

" The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress. "

" To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody. "

" Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin. "

" However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police. "

" I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds. "

" Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. "

" Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding. "

" The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another. "

" Men get laid, but women get screwed. "

" If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. "

" It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the constant repetition of them that has this liberating effect. Tolerance is the result not of enlightenment, but of boredom. "

" Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep. "

" An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing. "

" When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe? "

" My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it. "

" Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps. "

" The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us. "

" The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as 'Soho' poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent. "

" I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. "

" Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system has been lost? "

" The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency. "

" Abatement in the hostility of one's enemies must never be thought to signify they have been won over. It only means that one has ceased to constitute a threat. "

" You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave. "

" Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses. "

" For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook. "