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" It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style. "
Quentin Crisp
Meant To Be
Farm
Good
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" If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. "
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" For an introvert his environment is himself and can never be subject to startling or unforeseen change. "
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" Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh. "
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" For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook. "
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" Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. "
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" The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as 'Soho' poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent. "
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" I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. "
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" The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us. "
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" Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding. "
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" Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses. "
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" To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody. "
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" The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another. "
Quentin Crisp
Parents
Problem
Young
" The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress. "
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" Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are. "
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" Men get laid, but women get screwed. "
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" When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe? "
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" Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps. "
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" The trouble with children is that they're not returnable. "
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" Manners are love in a cool climate. "
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" You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave. "
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Fire
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Open
" It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the constant repetition of them that has this liberating effect. Tolerance is the result not of enlightenment, but of boredom. "
Quentin Crisp
Tolerance
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" Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors. "
Quentin Crisp
Neighbors
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" Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave. "
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Happened
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Funny
" The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency. "
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" Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin. "
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Person
Sin
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" The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right. "
Quentin Crisp
Time
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" An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing. "
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Obituary
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" Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep. "
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" However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police. "
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" It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give enough. "
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Last
Relationships