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" Anything on paper is obsolete! "

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" Temporary solutions often become permanent problems. "

" The only people I've ever heard saying that disagreeing with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld is un-American or treasonous are people who disagree with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld. "

" I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe. "

" Never underestimate the power of a simple tool. "

" From each according to his ability, to each according to his ability. "

" It's funny how most activists are pacifists. "

" If the shoe fits, it is probably worn out. "

" In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman. "

" Why are people unemployed? Because there is no work. Why is there no work? Because people are not buying products and services. Why are people not buying products and services? Because they have no money. Why do people have no money? Because they are unemployed. "

" Things always look better when you haven't seen them. "

" When trying to locate something, search your mind first. "

" Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve. "

" Fighting a war on terrorism is like fighting against crime. We can never hope to eradicate crime, so we shouldn't bother fighting it. "

" It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow. "

" Now is the time for all good men to run like hell. "

" The people who actually do things always suffer the slings and arrows of those who don't. "

" Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years. "

" Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be. "

" Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation. "

" Think Tank, noun: The shower. "

" When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists. "

The First Thing

" I wonder if those people shown protesting the deployment of nuclear weapons to western Europe during the Reagan era are feeling appropriately stupid today. 'Please don't take away our precious Soviet Union! - We demand the annihilation of all life on Earth!' "

" Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance. "

" 1 + 1 = 2. Everything else is derived. "

Everything Else

" When you talk to yourself, at least you know that someone is listening. "

" When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it. "

" Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand. "

" Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice! "

" You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for. "

" The difference between being able to understand something and inventing it in the first place... is called genius. "