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" Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice! "

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" Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years. "

" When trying to locate something, search your mind first. "

" Something is always simple until you try it. "

" It's easy to idealize someone that you don't know. "

" It's a bit odd that nobody seems to be using the correct technical term to describe organized Islamic terrorists. They are not a faction of a religion or a social movement. They are a cult. A suicide cult. "

" It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow. "

" If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people. "

" Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand. "

" Don't judge a book by its thickness either. "

" You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for. "

" My to-do list is so long that it doesn't have an end; it has an event horizon. "

" From each according to his ability, to each according to his ability. "

" I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe. "

" Supermarket automatic doors open for me; therefore, I am. "

" Why are people unemployed? Because there is no work. Why is there no work? Because people are not buying products and services. Why are people not buying products and services? Because they have no money. Why do people have no money? Because they are unemployed. "

" When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists. "

The First Thing

" Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve. "

" In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman. "

" If the shoe fits, it is probably worn out. "

" Think Tank, noun: The shower. "

" Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be. "

" When you talk to yourself, at least you know that someone is listening. "

" The Thought Police: To censor and protect. "

" Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat. "

" Anything on paper is obsolete! "

" Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation. "

" It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals. "

" Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea. "

" When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it. "

" The only people I've ever heard saying that disagreeing with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld is un-American or treasonous are people who disagree with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld. "