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" You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for. "

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" If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people. "

" The only thing that is obscene is censorship. "

" Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years. "

" I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe. "

" Something is always simple until you try it. "

" The Thought Police: To censor and protect. "

" It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals. "

" Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand. "

" Things always look better when you haven't seen them. "

" When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it. "

" Don't judge a book by its thickness either. "

" Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance. "

" Think Tank, noun: The shower. "

" Even IBM can't stand in the way of progress... for more than a decade. "

" Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice! "

" Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea. "

" Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat. "

" My to-do list is so long that it doesn't have an end; it has an event horizon. "

" Supermarket automatic doors open for me; therefore, I am. "

" When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists. "

The First Thing

" Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be. "

" Fighting a war on terrorism is like fighting against crime. We can never hope to eradicate crime, so we shouldn't bother fighting it. "

" Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve. "

" It's easy to idealize someone that you don't know. "

" Geez, all that money we waste on space exploration; just think how many bombs that would buy! "

" I wonder if those people shown protesting the deployment of nuclear weapons to western Europe during the Reagan era are feeling appropriately stupid today. 'Please don't take away our precious Soviet Union! - We demand the annihilation of all life on Earth!' "

" If the shoe fits, it is probably worn out. "

" When shooting in the dark, it is a good idea to use a machine gun. "

" Now is the time for all good men to run like hell. "

" Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation. "