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" 1 + 1 = 2. Everything else is derived. "

Everything Else

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" If the shoe fits, it is probably worn out. "

" Geez, all that money we waste on space exploration; just think how many bombs that would buy! "

" Things always look better when you haven't seen them. "

" When shooting in the dark, it is a good idea to use a machine gun. "

" Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve. "

" In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman. "

" When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists. "

The First Thing

" It's a bit odd that nobody seems to be using the correct technical term to describe organized Islamic terrorists. They are not a faction of a religion or a social movement. They are a cult. A suicide cult. "

" Anything on paper is obsolete! "

" It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow. "

" Fighting a war on terrorism is like fighting against crime. We can never hope to eradicate crime, so we shouldn't bother fighting it. "

" It's funny how most activists are pacifists. "

" Liberalism is financed by the dividends from Conservatism. "

" The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish! "

" It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals. "

" Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation. "

" Why are people unemployed? Because there is no work. Why is there no work? Because people are not buying products and services. Why are people not buying products and services? Because they have no money. Why do people have no money? Because they are unemployed. "

" Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand. "

" When trying to locate something, search your mind first. "

" From each according to his ability, to each according to his ability. "

" Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea. "

" The only people I've ever heard saying that disagreeing with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld is un-American or treasonous are people who disagree with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld. "

" It's easy to idealize someone that you don't know. "

" Think Tank, noun: The shower. "

" I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe. "

" Never underestimate the power of a simple tool. "

" The Thought Police: To censor and protect. "

" The only thing that is obscene is censorship. "

" Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat. "

" My to-do list is so long that it doesn't have an end; it has an event horizon. "