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" Fighting a war on terrorism is like fighting against crime. We can never hope to eradicate crime, so we shouldn't bother fighting it. "

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" The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish! "

" When trying to locate something, search your mind first. "

" In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman. "

" When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists. "

The First Thing

" Geez, all that money we waste on space exploration; just think how many bombs that would buy! "

" When you talk to yourself, at least you know that someone is listening. "

" Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand. "

" Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea. "

" Anything on paper is obsolete! "

" It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals. "

" Never underestimate the power of a simple tool. "

" You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for. "

" Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve. "

" I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe. "

" Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance. "

" It's easy to idealize someone that you don't know. "

" It's a bit odd that nobody seems to be using the correct technical term to describe organized Islamic terrorists. They are not a faction of a religion or a social movement. They are a cult. A suicide cult. "

" Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation. "

" Things always look better when you haven't seen them. "

" Why are people unemployed? Because there is no work. Why is there no work? Because people are not buying products and services. Why are people not buying products and services? Because they have no money. Why do people have no money? Because they are unemployed. "

" Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be. "

" The Thought Police: To censor and protect. "

" 1 + 1 = 2. Everything else is derived. "

Everything Else

" Temporary solutions often become permanent problems. "

" The people who actually do things always suffer the slings and arrows of those who don't. "

" When shooting in the dark, it is a good idea to use a machine gun. "

" If the shoe fits, it is probably worn out. "

" Think Tank, noun: The shower. "

" Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years. "

" I wonder if those people shown protesting the deployment of nuclear weapons to western Europe during the Reagan era are feeling appropriately stupid today. 'Please don't take away our precious Soviet Union! - We demand the annihilation of all life on Earth!' "