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" Things always look better when you haven't seen them. "

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" Anything on paper is obsolete! "

" Geez, all that money we waste on space exploration; just think how many bombs that would buy! "

" In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman. "

" Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance. "

" My to-do list is so long that it doesn't have an end; it has an event horizon. "

" It's easy to idealize someone that you don't know. "

" The only thing that is obscene is censorship. "

" Liberalism is financed by the dividends from Conservatism. "

" When you talk to yourself, at least you know that someone is listening. "

" If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people. "

" Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be. "

" Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea. "

" The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish! "

" I wonder if those people shown protesting the deployment of nuclear weapons to western Europe during the Reagan era are feeling appropriately stupid today. 'Please don't take away our precious Soviet Union! - We demand the annihilation of all life on Earth!' "

" Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve. "

" From each according to his ability, to each according to his ability. "

" It's a bit odd that nobody seems to be using the correct technical term to describe organized Islamic terrorists. They are not a faction of a religion or a social movement. They are a cult. A suicide cult. "

" Temporary solutions often become permanent problems. "

" Something is always simple until you try it. "

" Think Tank, noun: The shower. "

" The Thought Police: To censor and protect. "

" The people who actually do things always suffer the slings and arrows of those who don't. "

" Supermarket automatic doors open for me; therefore, I am. "

" The difference between being able to understand something and inventing it in the first place... is called genius. "

" I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe. "

" You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for. "

" It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow. "

" When shooting in the dark, it is a good idea to use a machine gun. "

" Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand. "

" When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it. "