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" I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe. "

Related Quotes:

" Things always look better when you haven't seen them. "

" Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand. "

" When trying to locate something, search your mind first. "

" Liberalism is financed by the dividends from Conservatism. "

" When you talk to yourself, at least you know that someone is listening. "

" Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation. "

" In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman. "

" It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow. "

" Now is the time for all good men to run like hell. "

" Even IBM can't stand in the way of progress... for more than a decade. "

" It's a bit odd that nobody seems to be using the correct technical term to describe organized Islamic terrorists. They are not a faction of a religion or a social movement. They are a cult. A suicide cult. "

" The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish! "

" Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat. "

" If the shoe fits, it is probably worn out. "

" Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice! "

" From each according to his ability, to each according to his ability. "

" When shooting in the dark, it is a good idea to use a machine gun. "

" When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it. "

" Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be. "

" Fighting a war on terrorism is like fighting against crime. We can never hope to eradicate crime, so we shouldn't bother fighting it. "

" Never underestimate the power of a simple tool. "

" Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years. "

" The difference between being able to understand something and inventing it in the first place... is called genius. "

" When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists. "

The First Thing

" 1 + 1 = 2. Everything else is derived. "

Everything Else

" You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for. "

" Temporary solutions often become permanent problems. "

" Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve. "

" Geez, all that money we waste on space exploration; just think how many bombs that would buy! "

" If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people. "