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" Think Tank, noun: The shower. "

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" The Thought Police: To censor and protect. "

" Something is always simple until you try it. "

" Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat. "

" Anything on paper is obsolete! "

" Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea. "

" It's funny how most activists are pacifists. "

" Geez, all that money we waste on space exploration; just think how many bombs that would buy! "

" The world is real. Consciousness is the illusion. "

" Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve. "

" When you talk to yourself, at least you know that someone is listening. "

" Don't judge a book by its thickness either. "

" Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance. "

" It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals. "

" The only people I've ever heard saying that disagreeing with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld is un-American or treasonous are people who disagree with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld. "

" It's a bit odd that nobody seems to be using the correct technical term to describe organized Islamic terrorists. They are not a faction of a religion or a social movement. They are a cult. A suicide cult. "

" You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for. "

" Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years. "

" Why are people unemployed? Because there is no work. Why is there no work? Because people are not buying products and services. Why are people not buying products and services? Because they have no money. Why do people have no money? Because they are unemployed. "

" The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish! "

" Now is the time for all good men to run like hell. "

" Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation. "

" When trying to locate something, search your mind first. "

" If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people. "

" Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice! "

" Never underestimate the power of a simple tool. "

" When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it. "

" Supermarket automatic doors open for me; therefore, I am. "

" The difference between being able to understand something and inventing it in the first place... is called genius. "

" Liberalism is financed by the dividends from Conservatism. "

" It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow. "