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" When trying to locate something, search your mind first. "

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" Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea. "

" Think Tank, noun: The shower. "

" If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people. "

" When shooting in the dark, it is a good idea to use a machine gun. "

" The only thing that is obscene is censorship. "

" Temporary solutions often become permanent problems. "

" Don't judge a book by its thickness either. "

" It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow. "

" The Thought Police: To censor and protect. "

" When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it. "

" Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat. "

" 1 + 1 = 2. Everything else is derived. "

Everything Else

" Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance. "

" Things always look better when you haven't seen them. "

" Now is the time for all good men to run like hell. "

" I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe. "

" Never underestimate the power of a simple tool. "

" When you talk to yourself, at least you know that someone is listening. "

" Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice! "

" Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation. "

" It's a bit odd that nobody seems to be using the correct technical term to describe organized Islamic terrorists. They are not a faction of a religion or a social movement. They are a cult. A suicide cult. "

" If the shoe fits, it is probably worn out. "

" The only people I've ever heard saying that disagreeing with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld is un-American or treasonous are people who disagree with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld. "

" Why are people unemployed? Because there is no work. Why is there no work? Because people are not buying products and services. Why are people not buying products and services? Because they have no money. Why do people have no money? Because they are unemployed. "

" When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists. "

The First Thing

" Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years. "

" The world is real. Consciousness is the illusion. "

" Anything on paper is obsolete! "

" Supermarket automatic doors open for me; therefore, I am. "

" The difference between being able to understand something and inventing it in the first place... is called genius. "