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" It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected. "

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" Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. "

" Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. "

" Loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it. "

" Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed. "

" Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. "

" Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. "

" Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. "

" The lack of money is the root of all evil. "

" The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. "

" Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. "

" Necessity is the mother of taking chances. "

" Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. "

" The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. "

" It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. "

" Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. "

" Better a broken promise than none at all. "

" The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop. "

" Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work. "

" In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. "

" Buy land, they're not making it anymore. "

" What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce. "

" Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written. "

" The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner. "

" You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. "

" Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late. "

" There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy. "

" Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. "

" Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. "

" Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. "

" Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. "