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" There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded. "
Mark Twain
Accomplish
Two
People
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" One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. "
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" I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough. "
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" I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know. "
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" I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. "
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" Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. "
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" Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. "
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" Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation. "
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" There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable. "
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" Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late. "
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" The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. "
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" It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. "
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" He is now rising from affluence to poverty. "
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" What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself. "
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" Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. "
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Civilization
" The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. "
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" The lack of money is the root of all evil. "
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" There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. "
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" It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. "
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" It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. "
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" Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. "
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" Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all. "
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Than
Better
Diamonds
" Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. "
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Pity
Party
Boat
" To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble. "
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Noble
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Trouble
" Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. "
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" Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. "
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Egg
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