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" Designers don't put out the same sweater every year. They just keep creating. "
Elayne Boosler
Same
Keep
Sweater
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" To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy. "
Elayne Boosler
Listen
Your
Silence
" The message of great art is to disturb. "
Elayne Boosler
Great
Great Art
Art
" You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. "
Elayne Boosler
Know
Your
You
" I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city. "
Elayne Boosler
Best
Best Way
See
" I like to go after the foibles, basically of beliefs that are held without question. If people still want to believe in their stuff after that, that's great - as long as they just have a chance to step back and look at it for a second. Sometimes, you don't even realize what you've been thinking for 20 years. "
Elayne Boosler
Great
Chance
People
" As a standup comedian, I've worked almost every New Year's Eve of my adult life. It's the best-paying night of the year. "
Elayne Boosler
Night
Year
Almost
" I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession. "
Elayne Boosler
Never
Remember
Choice
" San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people. "
Elayne Boosler
Liberal
Politics
People
" Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress. "
Elayne Boosler
Pigs
Smarter
Than
" Turkeys know their names, come when you call, and are totally affectionate. They're better than teenagers. "
Elayne Boosler
You
Know
Better
" When I was growing up in comedy, there were maybe 10 comics in the whole country. Everyone had a day job. You worked free for years in little clubs, then you got your big break and became a star. "
Elayne Boosler
Day
You
Comedy
" Wouldn't it be great to see a line in all movie credits that truthfully says, 'Nobody was harmed in the making of this film, and at the cast party, all animals got a belly belly belly rub.' "
Elayne Boosler
Great
Film
Animals
" We have wild animals in zoos, yet people rarely meet their 'food' face to face. "
Elayne Boosler
Animals
Face
Wild
" I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone. "
Elayne Boosler
Funny
Had
Always
" I have no complaints about losing money I put in high-risk investments. I did some of that when I had real money; my informed choice, my measured gamble. "
Elayne Boosler
Choice
Losing
Money
" My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning. "
Elayne Boosler
Belief
Congress
America
" I pray if I ever find out I have only about three minutes to live it's during a basketball game, because then I'll have, what, 10, 12 years to live? "
Elayne Boosler
Basketball
Three
Find
" Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. There's nothing more satisfying. "
Elayne Boosler
Go
Audience
You
" I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners. "
Elayne Boosler
Die
Think
Death
" Sometimes, if you really don't know how you feel about a topic, reading how both sides argue it can help. "
Elayne Boosler
You
Sides
Reading
" I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.' "
Elayne Boosler
History
Car
Thankful
" While editors and newspaper owners currently fret over shrinking readership and lost profits, they do the one thing that insures cutting their own throats; they keep reducing space for the one feature that attracts new young readers in the first place; the comic strips. "
Elayne Boosler
Space
Lost
Young
" Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix? "
Elayne Boosler
Food
Eight
Party
" It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working. "
Elayne Boosler
Working
Me
Never
" I just get the feeling that if Jesse Helms was in charge of art in America, you'd go into a museum and see nothing but prints of dogs playing cards. "
Elayne Boosler
America
You
Art
" For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper. "
Elayne Boosler
Human
Me
Newspaper
" My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty. "
Elayne Boosler
Hair
You
Dog
" I don't categorize myself. I don't think I'm perceived as a female act by my audience. My fans include just as many men as women. "
Elayne Boosler
Think
Women
Myself
" I am thankful that all the people in the world who absolutely, positively, know what God wants, usually kill mostly each other. "
Elayne Boosler
God
World
I Am
" I guess in general, people tend to not eat the cute animals. "
Elayne Boosler
People
Animals
Cute