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" One picture is worth 1,000 denials. "

Picture Is Worth

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" I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it. "

" Life is funny, and a lot of times, the people that I've met have really gone past anything that I've ever dreamed of, so I'm really grateful. My friendships really go from the West to the East. You'd be amazed at some of the people I call friends. "

" Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them. "

" Comedy is a tool of togetherness. It's a way of putting your arm around someone, pointing at something, and saying, 'Isn't it funny that we do that?' It's a way of reaching out. "

" Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative. "

Henry Kissinger

" Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. "

" It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. "

Adlai E. Stevenson

" He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow. "

" I definitely started to perform a little bit in middle school, but not the typical musical/play route. I think that I am funny, but it was more of a social thing, where that was my part in my circle of friends. "

" Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know. "

" Going to college offered me the chance to play football for four more years. "

" There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast. "

J. Michael Straczynski

" I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends to come out of stress or trauma - something that makes you want to be funny. "

" I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time. "

Charles M. Schulz

" I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. "

Arthur Conan Doyle

" When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. "

Albert Einstein

" I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. "

" The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have. "

" I never liked you, and I always will. "

" What we have found in this country, and maybe we're more aware of it now, is one problem that we've had, even in the best of times, and that is the people who are sleeping on the grates, the homeless, you might say, by choice. "

" Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall! "

" If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under. "

" Funny you mention my dinner parties when I have just suggested that inviting close friends over to share a meal with candlelight and wine at your table could be a form of religious experience for some people. To me it's a form of sacrament. "

" For people who have done comedy after a certain point in time, I think there's a base level of, 'O.K., I think I'm decently funny.' But unless you just have some massive ego, I really think you're still fighting against that. "

" I'm for whatever gets you through the night. "

" Turns out you have a really fun time if you go to work every day and focus on being silly and funny and happy! "

" There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices. "

" I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. "

" Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder? "