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" The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. "

Rodney Dangerfield

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" Personally, I feel like I'm trying to redefine what a really good rapper can be like. Like, I think it's not often where a good rapper can be making funny music. "

" Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs. "

Alfred Hitchcock

" I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented. "

" As a small child, I could watch anything happen and tell a story, and it was funny. "

" Every dogma has its day. "

Anthony Burgess

" Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. "

" My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it. "

" There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. "

Jean Baudrillard

" If you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay. "

" Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them. "

" If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. "

Tallulah Bankhead

" To all the girls out there who think being funny is not sexy, you are wrong! "

Chad Michael Murray

" When I have had a long day at work, I want something to watch that is funny, lighthearted and easy to get into, and reality is that. I'm not really into serious programmes or documentaries. "

" The funny thing about the people I don't like - they're very self-centered. "

" You know, what's funny to one person is not at all to someone else. "

" I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. "

" My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one. "

" I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host. "

David Letterman

" People use the guise of art, and artistic expression, to do all kinds of hateful things. It's like Trump and everybody else using the guise of humor to say hateful things, the excuse being, 'I was just being funny.' "

" I am blessed with a funny gene that makes me enjoy life. "

" All generalizations are false, including this one. "

Generalizations

" Its funny, because for females in general - not just in music, but the corporate ladder as well - anything we do has always been harder for us. When it comes to music, the industry wants you to conform, to look like this and to sound like this and do this or that. It makes it harder. It's harder for us to come out and be bosses and lead the pack. "

" Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. "

P. G. Wodehouse

" The tour bus is always fun, and there's plenty of time to watch movies. Actually, Kanye introduced me to the movie 'Step Brothers.' We were sitting there, watching it and clowning around - it was so funny, man. "

" I wanted to be that quirky girl who writes funny songs that still have meaning. "

" If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? "

Abraham Lincoln

" My mother is very funny. She is from a village; she has a typical village kind of humour. Often she says a lot of things she herself isn't aware is a punch line. "

" I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. "