Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I call myself the Amusement Park. That's because I'm funny and scary at the same time. "

Related Quotes:

" I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules, how could you break them? "

" Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. "

" As a small child, I could watch anything happen and tell a story, and it was funny. "

" From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. "

" Be obscure clearly. "

" The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?' "

" You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't. "

Garry Shandling

" There's something very authentic about humor, when you think about it. Anybody can pretend to be serious. But you can't pretend to be funny. "

" If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving. "

" There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. "

Henry Kissinger

" He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow. "

" Turns out you have a really fun time if you go to work every day and focus on being silly and funny and happy! "

" If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents. "

" I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. "

" I'm going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli. "

" What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? "

W. Clement Stone

" I am interested in shows that are not out-and-out gag fests: you see the truth of a broken heart behind them. That is what life is like: it's really funny, you see funny things as soon as you step out of the room, but underneath that is a whole bag of broken hearts. It's that real pain and that real hilarity that makes life so intriguing. "

" I see fighters make funny videos about me and stick them on Facebook and get 20 likes. When I make a video, I sell it to Fox and make seven figures. That's the difference. "

" There's drama in everything. That's why I love movies. Like 'Welcome to the Dollhouse.' I'm a 350-pound black man, and I could understand what it was like to be a little white girl. "

" A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. "

" When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. "

" It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.' "

Garrett Hedlund

" But it's funny that now I'm in such a happy situation, I look more objectively at my own past and see what others have seen for a long time and I'm just so glad I've been able to get to this point. "

" Never fight an inanimate object. "

" I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny. "

" When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.' "

" As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. "

" Does it bother me that I'm attached to 'Three's Company' 30 years after? Not at all. All we were trying to do was be funny. How can I complain? That's all I wanted to do. "

" Funny thing is that the poorer people are, the more generous they seem to be. "

" I would say just start writing. You've got to write every day. Copy someone that you like if you think that perhaps could become your sound, too. I did that with Hemingway, and I thought I was writing just like Hemingway. Then all of a sudden it occurred to me - he didn't have a sense of humor. I don't know anything he's written that's funny. "