Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I always wanted to write as much as perform. "

Related Quotes:

" A weird sort of awareness set in, like, 'Wow. My standup isn't just separate from everything else I do anymore.' With Twitter and Face book, everything is universal that everything everybody says gets seen. "

" Everybody's funny in different ways. "

" Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it. "

" Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult. "

" It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything. "

" I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any. "

" With comedians, you have that understanding that we're trying to get laughs. "

" I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows. "

" I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian. "

" You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers. "

" You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody. "

" I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them. "

" When I look back now I realize I was such an obnoxious kid but, you know, I went to schools like you, like a public school in New York so compared to the anarchy that was going on there, they really wouldn't - I wasn't like a bad kid. I saw people come in and punch the teachers. "

" I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ. "

" I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway. "

" Everybody says before reviews come out, 'Oh, reviews don't matter,' just in case they're bad; everyone want to brace themselves. "

" Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles. "

" Stand-up is live, so I'm used to being live for most of my career. It's interesting. "

" You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything. "

" The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests. "

" My stand-up act? I combine the fact that the world is a violent place with the fact that each person is responsible for the situation they are in. "

" I was a class clown. "

" He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be. "

" I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write. "

" That's the beauty of being a comedian - it's the one job you're allowed to do that. We're lucky. We're really lucky. "

" The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either. "

" For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type of humor. "

" I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself. "

" The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things. "

" The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems. "