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" He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be. "
Colin Quinn
Good
People
Place
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" I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any. "
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" I've been to Japan, I've been to China, I've been to Africa, I've been to the Middle East, I've been to Europe a little bit. I've never been to South America. "
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" The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either. "
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" Humanity is a crazy contradiction. I accept us for who we are. We're not that great. Every time we take a step forward we go back to the same primitive behavior. We're meant to be this way. It's not our fault, it's just who we are. "
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Humanity
Great
Back
" I was a class clown. "
Colin Quinn
Class Clown
Clown
Class
" I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be. "
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Think
Feel
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" Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type. "
Colin Quinn
You
Funny
Cake
" The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests. "
Colin Quinn
Live
Only
People
" I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit. "
Colin Quinn
Kings
Feel
Reason
" Stand-up is live, so I'm used to being live for most of my career. It's interesting. "
Colin Quinn
Most
Career
Interesting
" For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type of humor. "
Colin Quinn
Friends
Always
Say
" I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write. "
Colin Quinn
I Love
Poetry
Love
" I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian. "
Colin Quinn
York
Actor
Understand
" I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them. "
Colin Quinn
Audience
Say
People Say
" People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper. "
Colin Quinn
Money
Present
People
" If I had to give up everything else and keep just one aspect of the job, I'd have to keep writing because I love it. Yes, I enjoy performing, too. But I couldn't give up writing material. "
Colin Quinn
Job
Enjoy
Because
" You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers. "
Colin Quinn
Money
Nothing
Pay
" Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles. "
Colin Quinn
Sense
Sense Of Humor
Different
" I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian. "
Colin Quinn
World
Like
Say
" Everybody says before reviews come out, 'Oh, reviews don't matter,' just in case they're bad; everyone want to brace themselves. "
Colin Quinn
Bad
Matter
Everyone
" You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything. "
Colin Quinn
Good
Funny
Writing
" When I look back now I realize I was such an obnoxious kid but, you know, I went to schools like you, like a public school in New York so compared to the anarchy that was going on there, they really wouldn't - I wasn't like a bad kid. I saw people come in and punch the teachers. "
Colin Quinn
School
Know
Look
" I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway. "
Colin Quinn
Think
Work
You
" It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything. "
Colin Quinn
Trade
Crazy
Would
" I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows. "
Colin Quinn
Working
Movies
Stuff
" I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it. "
Colin Quinn
Look
Feel
Empires
" I like guy stuff. "
Colin Quinn
Stuff
Like
Guy
" So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation. "
Colin Quinn
Situation
War
Violence
" You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody. "
Colin Quinn
Just
You
Just Be
" I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them. "
Colin Quinn
Guy
Who
Smarter