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" For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type of humor. "

Colin Quinn

Friends

Always

Say

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" I was a class clown. "

" You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it. "

" Everybody's funny in different ways. "

" I always wanted to write as much as perform. "

" I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them. "

" A weird sort of awareness set in, like, 'Wow. My standup isn't just separate from everything else I do anymore.' With Twitter and Face book, everything is universal that everything everybody says gets seen. "

" The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems. "

" I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it. "

" You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers. "

" I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit. "

" I'm not a big method actor. I'm much more superficial. "

Colin Quinn

Superficial

Big

" I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her. "

" You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody. "

" Humanity is a crazy contradiction. I accept us for who we are. We're not that great. Every time we take a step forward we go back to the same primitive behavior. We're meant to be this way. It's not our fault, it's just who we are. "

" So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation. "

" He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be. "

" Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it. "

" Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles. "

" I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows. "

" I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write. "

" It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything. "

" I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ. "

" If I had to give up everything else and keep just one aspect of the job, I'd have to keep writing because I love it. Yes, I enjoy performing, too. But I couldn't give up writing material. "

" My name has zero value. "

" I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be. "

" I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself. "

" I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian. "

Colin Quinn

World

Say

" The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things. "

Colin Quinn

Thinking

People

" With comedians, you have that understanding that we're trying to get laughs. "

" You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything. "