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" Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult. "
Colin Quinn
Person
Dangerous
Hands
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" The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems. "
Colin Quinn
Crazy
Mind
People
" I always wanted to write as much as perform. "
Colin Quinn
Wanted
Write
Perform
" My stand-up act? I combine the fact that the world is a violent place with the fact that each person is responsible for the situation they are in. "
Colin Quinn
Situation
Place
World
" I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself. "
Colin Quinn
History
Situation
People
" The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things. "
Colin Quinn
Thinking
People
More
" Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type. "
Colin Quinn
You
Funny
Cake
" You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it. "
Colin Quinn
Funny
Small
Small Things
" I've been to Japan, I've been to China, I've been to Africa, I've been to the Middle East, I've been to Europe a little bit. I've never been to South America. "
Colin Quinn
America
Never
China
" He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be. "
Colin Quinn
Good
People
Place
" My name has zero value. "
Colin Quinn
Name
Value
Zero
" I was a class clown. "
Colin Quinn
Class Clown
Clown
Class
" I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ. "
Colin Quinn
Myself
Think
Real
" You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody. "
Colin Quinn
Just
You
Just Be
" For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type of humor. "
Colin Quinn
Friends
Always
Say
" Humanity is a crazy contradiction. I accept us for who we are. We're not that great. Every time we take a step forward we go back to the same primitive behavior. We're meant to be this way. It's not our fault, it's just who we are. "
Colin Quinn
Humanity
Great
Back
" People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper. "
Colin Quinn
Money
Present
People
" A weird sort of awareness set in, like, 'Wow. My standup isn't just separate from everything else I do anymore.' With Twitter and Face book, everything is universal that everything everybody says gets seen. "
Colin Quinn
Face
Weird
Everything
" You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers. "
Colin Quinn
Money
Nothing
Pay
" I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian. "
Colin Quinn
York
Actor
Understand
" I like guy stuff. "
Colin Quinn
Stuff
Like
Guy
" I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any. "
Colin Quinn
Though
Think
Even
" I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it. "
Colin Quinn
Look
Feel
Empires
" I'm not a big method actor. I'm much more superficial. "
Colin Quinn
Superficial
More
Big
" Stand-up is live, so I'm used to being live for most of my career. It's interesting. "
Colin Quinn
Most
Career
Interesting
" I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them. "
Colin Quinn
Audience
Say
People Say
" I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be. "
Colin Quinn
Think
Feel
Good
" The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests. "
Colin Quinn
Live
Only
People
" If I had to give up everything else and keep just one aspect of the job, I'd have to keep writing because I love it. Yes, I enjoy performing, too. But I couldn't give up writing material. "
Colin Quinn
Job
Enjoy
Because
" Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles. "
Colin Quinn
Sense
Sense Of Humor
Different
" You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything. "
Colin Quinn
Good
Funny
Writing