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" I am angry that the Democrats don't have the ability to explain to Republicans that we should be able to feed people in this country, and that is not socialism. "
Lewis Black
Angry
Socialism
People
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" Most of the longer-term relationships I've known have been gay relationships. They seem to be able to hang out longer. "
Lewis Black
Most
Hang
Out
" The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine. "
Lewis Black
Comedy
You
Political
" In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants. "
Lewis Black
Believe
Gone
Voting
" I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet. "
Lewis Black
Think
Apple
Wonder
" I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane by the minute. "
Lewis Black
Just
Insane
More
" What you don't do, if you're an adult, is decide that you're going to budget things through a sequester. What does that word have to do with budgeting? It's like if you have a family budget and go, 'We really don't know what to take out economically from the budget, so we're going to whack out protein for this week.' "
Lewis Black
Family
Go
Know
" I don't Tweet a lot because I've Tweeted things that I thought were really innocuous about subjects that are inflammatory, and the response is so insane sometimes from people. "
Lewis Black
Sometimes
Thought
People
" I'm amazed that anyone is interested in what I have to say. "
Lewis Black
Amazed
Say
Anyone
" I don't understand how anybody's still a Democrat or a Republican. I don't know what they're basing it on. "
Lewis Black
Republican
Understand
Democrat
" I watch some CNN and a lot of Fox, because it helps me get irritated. "
Lewis Black
Get
Some
Me
" I think comics in New York are interested in being comics. And there're comics in L.A. who are touring comics, who are certainly more interested in stand-up, but a lot of L.A. stand-ups are really looking to do something else. "
Lewis Black
New York
New
More
" Democrats are like a big tortoise that's on its back and can't get up; you can't make jokes about that. "
Lewis Black
Back
Big
Like
" What I've found in my career is that 70 to 75 percent of comics are nice and have some sense of social skills, but there are those who end up in comedy because they don't know how to socialize. I don't want to deal with that group. "
Lewis Black
Group
Know
End
" I'm constantly in fear of having a stroke. "
Lewis Black
Constantly
Having
Stroke
" I get an idea about something. I just start thinking about it, and then I get onstage and I talk about it, and then I think about it some more and talk about it some more, and think about it some more and talk about it some more, until it starts to take a shape. "
Lewis Black
Thinking
Talk
Start
" My parents are the last of the middle class. My father worked for the government designing sea mines. My mother was a substitute teacher. Together, they worked really only until they were sixty. "
Lewis Black
Teacher
Mother
Parents
" The people we elect aren't bipartisan. The American public is bipartisan. "
Lewis Black
American
Bipartisan
Public
" Macs are not intuitive. It's intuitive to the person who created it. It's not intuitive to me. "
Lewis Black
Who
Created
Me
" Janeane Garofalo ended up, in a sense, being pushed by the media into becoming a pundit. "
Lewis Black
Ended
Up
Sense
" Basically, I started on stage yelling and I kept yelling, and then I yelled some more, and then I yelled even louder. I'm modulated now. "
Lewis Black
Some
Yelling
Started
" I'm a Jew. "
Lewis Black
Jew
" I love anything that gets me outside of my own head. "
Lewis Black
Me
Head
Love
" As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic. "
Lewis Black
Gets
Comic
Psychotic
" When a country wants television more than they want clean water, they've lost their grip. "
Lewis Black
Country
Lost
Water
" If we're not going to tax the rich anymore, we're going to create class warfare. "
Lewis Black
Rich
Tax
Going
" In Vegas, you have an audience you can't find anywhere else. It's from all over the country. You play Seattle, everyone's from Seattle. But in Vegas, you have six from Seattle, a bunch from L.A., some local Las Vegans and maybe a farmer from Iowa. In Vegas, you learn the ins and outs of holding a room because of that great spectrum of folks. "
Lewis Black
Vegas
Play
Country
" I continue to work on plays, but I've always felt that you could put a note in a bottle and send it offshore, and you'd have as much chance communicating with people. "
Lewis Black
You
Always
Work
" The thing that makes my generation The Greatest is our ability to hang out. We're spectacular at it. If you take somebody from my generation and sit them on a couch and bring them food and plumbing, they'll sit there and talk to you about anything you want until the day you die. "
Lewis Black
Day
Talk
You
" I like college football, but I'm a huge college basketball fan. I could sit and watch every game of March Madness and be happy. That could be a vacation. "
Lewis Black
Football
Vacation
Happy
" I'm a happy person but an angry citizen. "
Lewis Black
Happy
Person
Angry