Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" Life is hard. Not great. Kind of tragic. "

Related Quotes:

" My face is oblong. But the best grooming is confidence. "

" I'm always so amazed by which performances work really, really well and which ones don't. But I think it's just mostly, 'She's Out Of My League,' so many people saw that movie on DVD and on the plane. Just millions of people saw that movie. That's the reason I'm somewhat famous. "

" Effective satire has to be almost identical to the subject that it is skewering. "

" I don't really know how to act that much. I'm quite good at comedy, but it's mostly acting naturally. "

" Most things I get hired on, I get hired because I improvise something funny, or they just think I look weird. "

" I do comedy to give people an ephemeral escape from the tragedy that permeates everyday life. "

" I think I'm just a comedian who's a pretty good con man, and I don't see that changing any time soon. "

" It's okay to take yourself too seriously if you're a serious actor and you've got the scrubs on. And then with me, it's kind of like, well, I'm a comedian, I'm making fun of everybody and everything. And I'm making fun of myself. I'm having fun making fun of and for other people. "

" I have perfectly symmetrical ankles. "

" The moment in which you make somebody laugh, you're only doing it to make them laugh and be happy. Then afterward you can be like, 'Oh, I just want the attention. I feel so good that everybody's listening to me and I got the approval that I need.' "

" I love Denver. "

" I don't sit and write stand-up material; I come up with an idea onstage. "

" Mike Judge is my Jonathan Swift, and I say that because I don't know any other satirists. But the problem with satire is that it's so easily misinterpreted. "

" I love writing but not crazy meticulous/prepared enough to be a director. I'd work as a gaffer on something. "

" I don't know that I would host the Golden Globes or the Emmys because I don't think they have the appreciation for irreverence that the Critics Choice does. "

" My father always said I have a face for radio, and 'Cloverfield' was one of my finest pieces of work. "

" Some people in Silicon Valley are as bad as the 'Koch Brothers', you know? Don't be mistaken. For every some of those, though, you get people who come up with something like 'Leafly', which does what 'Yelp' has done, but in a much more specific way, and it's important because it's the dawn of this new era. "

" Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates. "

" I told the Mucinex people, 'You picked me because I always sound sick'. They were like, 'Well, it doesn't hurt'. "

" I don't know how much the economy has changed since Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal.' "

" I consider everybody who takes themselves seriously to be a little bit off. And Silicon Valley seems to be the most effusive about how important their contributions are to society. "

" I would say that awards are for children. Because children need a tangible representation of their achievement. And as adults, you have to settle for the respect and admiration of your peers. "

" I drink a fair amount of ramen noodles. "

" Listen to my voice - I sound like I'm permanently congested. "

" People dream their whole lives of their Oscar speech; I dreamt my whole life of hosting the Oscars. "

" When you get into a car, and there's trash, or it's dirty, or one of the hubcaps is off, you're like, 'Come on, dude.' Every woman likes the confidence and self-respect that says, 'I get oil changes. I look after my vehicle.' That's what I recommend: Act like you don't care, but take care of your body. "

" I wouldn't want to be Superman. Batman would be cool. But the one I've always wanted to play is the Joker. There is a maniacal and dangerous side to me. "

" I like hip-hop, but I don't like concerts. There's, like, sweat on people's backs. "

" I'm a Nietzschean scholar. I've read an immense amount about nihilism and existentialism. "

" I don't believe in alcohol. It's a sort of a medicinal necessity for the human condition, none of that stuff. I'm not a gambling man. "