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" I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really. "

Karl Pilkington

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" I've done some luxury flying, which is brilliant. It has only happened once or twice, but it was nice because flying is the worst part of the holiday. But then again, if the plane crashes, you're still dead. For that much money I'd want a little capsule that whizzed me off to safety if it was going to crash. "

Karl Pilkington

" I don't know what I'm meant to do. I'm not important, am I? I'm not doing anything that makes a difference. "

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" I think it's a problem when something's a dream because it'll never live up to your expectations. It's better to go somewhere thinking it'll be horrible, and then be pleasantly surprised. "

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" I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much. "

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" To be honest, marriage doesn't scare me and that, it's just once you've been together for so long, if you haven't got any kids it's just a big expensive day out for everyone else to enjoy, isn't it? "

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" Getting old is better than being young. You can do what you want to do. "

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" They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time? "

Karl Pilkington

" I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each other, like a massive game of Jenga that has got out of hand. "

Karl Pilkington

" I don't know what 'famous' is, really. "

Karl Pilkington

" People who live in glass houses... have to answer the door. "

Karl Pilkington

" With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads? "

Karl Pilkington

" I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs. "

Karl Pilkington

" It's not a joke: I really do like being at home. "

Karl Pilkington

" I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything. "

Karl Pilkington

" We should all love animals. "

Karl Pilkington

" I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest. "

Karl Pilkington

" And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding. "

Karl Pilkington

" Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that. "

Karl Pilkington

" You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that. "

Karl Pilkington

" The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should be where it is. Because, at the end of the day, it's probably the heaviest part of your body, right? And yet it's at the top as opposed to, I don't, dangling at the bottom somewhere. "

Karl Pilkington

" You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go. "

Karl Pilkington

" I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere. "

Karl Pilkington

" We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, 'Well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species.' "

Karl Pilkington

" I love nature - it's probably my most favorite thing. I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there. "

Karl Pilkington

" But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot. "

Karl Pilkington

" People say if bees die out, the world would end, apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed to write a good document, and people believe this. "

Karl Pilkington

" I found that being with happy positive people annoys me. "

Karl Pilkington

" I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there. "

Karl Pilkington

" For me, a good holiday is about value for money rather than things to see. "

Karl Pilkington

" I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too. "

Karl Pilkington