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" If I get dressed up, and my boyfriend says, 'You look gorgeous,' I kinda feel funny. I don't know if I'm particularly comfortable with being attractive. "
Toni Collette
Funny
Know
Look
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" It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing. "
Zora Neale Hurston
Live
Losing
People
" My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. "
Jimmy Durante
Funny
Her
Now
" Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. "
Margaret Mead
Unique
Remember
Funny
" If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. "
Laurence J. Peter
Try
Two
Three
" I like being married, but it was never something I felt I had to do. "
Toni Collette
Being
Like
Married
" It sounds funny, but I always try to keep an open mind about what I'm writing about. Sometimes I squeak my opinions in there, but generally I don't. I try to be objective about things that I'm writing about. "
John Mellencamp
Mind
Funny
Writing
" I heard that people were really interested in the new haircut, which I think is so funny. Great haircut, I really like it. It goes great with the time period. And I was super, super, super-happy to have my bangs swept to the side rather than straight in front of me, which I dealt with for three seasons. I'm very, very much done with that. "
Elisabeth Moss
Seasons
Time
Funny
" It's really irritating. Even people who like my work sometimes come up to me and say, 'I usually don't like female comedians, but your material is great!' It makes the job prospect more daunting. Funny is funny, you know? "
Chelsea Peretti
Funny
Work
People
" Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious. "
Zach Galifianakis
Me
Funny
Rudeness
" It's funny because I've made a living off of words, but words get in the way of what you really want to say. "
Kanye West
You
Funny
Living
" Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative. "
Henry Kissinger
Thought
Funny
Only
" I hate it when the mother is just the mother in movies. "
Toni Collette
Hate
Just
Mother
" I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. "
Gene Wilder
Sometimes
Camera
Life
" I'm not funny. What I am is brave. "
Lucille Ball
Humor
Am
Brave
" My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. "
Ellen DeGeneres
Day
Walking
She
" There is always something funny going on between scenes with Adam Sandler. He's always cracking jokes and yelling at people for no reason. It's pretty funny. He'll joke around during scenes, too. When he guest-starred on 'Jessie,' there was nothing in the script that he said first take. "
Cameron Boyce
Always
People
Nothing
" I used to work at NASA in Virginia. It was nothing glamorous; I was just tasked with making code compile for obscure projects, and I wasn't very good at it. Now I spend most of my time drawing pictures and looking at funny things on the Internet, which in retrospect is largely what I did at my old job, too. "
Randall Munroe
Time
Funny
Good
" My face moves, unlike some actors' do. I guess it's kind of a response to what's happening internally. "
Toni Collette
Happening
Face
Response
" I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. "
Rita Rudner
Started
Funny
Sunlight
" I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It's chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one. "
Paul Simon
Eating
Child
Restaurant
" To handle that stardom, the red carpets, the photo shoots, people all of a sudden recognizing you and following you in everyday life, it's a bit weird. It's strange, and it can have funny effects on you in terms of do you like it or don't you like it. Some people run away from it, some people embrace it; I found a good middle ground. "
Roger Federer
Good
Run
Red
" A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. "
Steve Martin
Know
Sunshine
You
" Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be; that's stupid. So be yourself. "
Christina Grimmie
Be Yourself
Yourself
Stupid
" Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. "
Mel Brooks
Tragedy
You
Die
" So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work. "
Joseph Bologna
Funny
Day
Texas
" Actually being funny is mostly telling the truth about things. "
Bernard Sahlins
Things
Funny
Truth
" We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny: it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. "
J. K. Rowling
You
Rich
Know
" 'I Love You, Man' was kind of funny. "
Ethan Coen
Man
You
Funny
" You cannot dictate what people find funny, what people find attractive, or what people find scary. There is not a norm. "
Guillermo del Toro
Find
Funny
People
" As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. "
Calvin Trillin
Everyone
Far
Funny