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" If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt. "
Graham Norton
Going
Adopt
Me
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" I spent a long time working in restaurants and making no money. It was very character-building, but I think it could have been built in a shorter time. "
Graham Norton
Long
Long Time
Money
" Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch. "
Graham Norton
Perky
Planet
State
" I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it. "
Graham Norton
Cope
Gay
I Am
" I think the word is adult! "
Graham Norton
I Think
Think
Word
" A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them. "
Graham Norton
Kind
Why
Bunch
" Some people think they're depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: 'You hate where you live, you've lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you're depressed?' "
Graham Norton
Doctor
Hate
Job
" Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. "
Graham Norton
Me
Life
Moving
" I've heard other gay people say when they were growing up they felt 'foreign.' Growing up, I was able to label these feelings as: 'I'm a Protestant.' It wasn't until I left, I thought: 'Oh, those weren't Protestant feelings.' "
Graham Norton
Thought
Gay
People
" You don't want money to make you a social freak where you can only hang out with rich people. "
Graham Norton
Rich
Money
Only
" All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly. "
Graham Norton
Interesting
Nothing
My Life
" The BBC is a victim of its own independence. "
Graham Norton
Victim
BBC
Independence
" All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with. "
Graham Norton
Home
People
Brain
" Tolerance is forced on people in London. "
Graham Norton
Forced
London
People
" It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating. "
Graham Norton
Shallow
Member
Public
" Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean. "
Graham Norton
Drama
Pretty
Years
" I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything. "
Graham Norton
Unhappy
Childhood
Like
" An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot. "
Graham Norton
Awful
Very
Lot
" Britain's such a twisted, weird little place. "
Graham Norton
Place
Weird
Britain
" One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life. "
Graham Norton
Love Life
Love
Life
" Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No! "
Graham Norton
Depth
Given
More
" The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so it's a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky. "
Graham Norton
People
Famous
Lucky
" It's amazing how I can just ramble on for hours, isn't it? And so unentertaining or uninteresting. But I can ramble on for hours. It's a sort of terrible gift, isn't it? "
Graham Norton
Gift
Terrible
Just
" I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive. "
Graham Norton
Singing
Alive
Heart
" In terms of language, yeah we get bleeped and blurred and things, but in terms of content, I would probably say we're getting away with more here than we could get away with in Britain. And that surprised us so much! "
Graham Norton
Say
Blurred
Content
" I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness. "
Graham Norton
You
Be Nice
Nice
" Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do. "
Graham Norton
Relationship
Bliss
Funny
" My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living. "
Graham Norton
Good
Living
Success
" Well, certainly I think American television is - that's proper TV. "
Graham Norton
Television
Well
American
" I don't think anyone wants to be gay. "
Graham Norton
Wants
Think
Gay
" My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me. "
Graham Norton
Parents
Class
Education