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" I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything. "

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" My life could have been so grim... really, really grim. "

" All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly. "

" Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. "

" I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it. "

" The BBC will always be attacked by whoever is in government. It is that George Bush thing of 'If you're not with us you are against us.' "

" Well, certainly I think American television is - that's proper TV. "

" I think the word is adult! "

" If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt. "

" I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship. "

" I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste. "

" I spent a long time working in restaurants and making no money. It was very character-building, but I think it could have been built in a shorter time. "

" My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me. "

" I don't think anyone wants to be gay. "

" One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life. "

" It's lovely to get one successful show - the chances of finding a second one are not so hot. "

" All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with. "

" The BBC is a victim of its own independence. "

" My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule. "

" I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer. "

" I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive. "

" I've heard other gay people say when they were growing up they felt 'foreign.' Growing up, I was able to label these feelings as: 'I'm a Protestant.' It wasn't until I left, I thought: 'Oh, those weren't Protestant feelings.' "

" You don't want money to make you a social freak where you can only hang out with rich people. "

" Britain's such a twisted, weird little place. "

" Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean. "

" It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating. "

" Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch. "

" Some people think they're depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: 'You hate where you live, you've lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you're depressed?' "

" I do get pleasure from very inconsequential things, like shopping for clothes. "

" You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend. "

" I've so exceeded what I ever wanted to do. "