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" I spent a long time working in restaurants and making no money. It was very character-building, but I think it could have been built in a shorter time. "
Graham Norton
Long
Long Time
Money
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" A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them. "
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" I think the word is adult! "
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" Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No! "
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" I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer. "
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" The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so it's a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky. "
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" Tolerance is forced on people in London. "
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" An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot. "
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" It's lovely to get one successful show - the chances of finding a second one are not so hot. "
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" I've so exceeded what I ever wanted to do. "
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Wanted
Ever
" Some people think they're depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: 'You hate where you live, you've lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you're depressed?' "
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Doctor
Hate
Job
" If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt. "
Graham Norton
Going
Adopt
Me
" I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship. "
Graham Norton
Myself
Unhappy
Than
" Where I get bored is when I show up for a shoot and they want me to wear a feather boa. Too obvious a thing for a poof on the telly to do. "
Graham Norton
Bored
Want
Up
" You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend. "
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Earth
Friend
You
" It's amazing how I can just ramble on for hours, isn't it? And so unentertaining or uninteresting. But I can ramble on for hours. It's a sort of terrible gift, isn't it? "
Graham Norton
Gift
Terrible
Just
" I loved Lucille Ball growing up. "
Graham Norton
Loved
Ball
Growing Up
" I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness. "
Graham Norton
You
Be Nice
Nice
" The BBC is a victim of its own independence. "
Graham Norton
Victim
BBC
Independence
" All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly. "
Graham Norton
Interesting
Nothing
My Life
" I'm actually quite self-sufficient, so it might look as if there isn't room for anyone in my life. That isn't entirely the case. "
Graham Norton
Case
Room
My Life
" I am very quick to judge. "
Graham Norton
Quick
Am
Judge
" Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch. "
Graham Norton
Perky
Planet
State
" My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living. "
Graham Norton
Good
Living
Success
" If you'd told the young Graham Norton that I'd one day have this amount of money, I'd have assumed it would have come from a lottery win. "
Graham Norton
Money
Young
Lottery
" All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with. "
Graham Norton
Home
People
Brain
" My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me. "
Graham Norton
Parents
Class
Education
" In terms of language, yeah we get bleeped and blurred and things, but in terms of content, I would probably say we're getting away with more here than we could get away with in Britain. And that surprised us so much! "
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Say
Blurred
Content
" I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it. "
Graham Norton
Cope
Gay
I Am
" I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy. "
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Live
Doing
Show