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" A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them. "

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" I've heard other gay people say when they were growing up they felt 'foreign.' Growing up, I was able to label these feelings as: 'I'm a Protestant.' It wasn't until I left, I thought: 'Oh, those weren't Protestant feelings.' "

" I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive. "

" Well, certainly I think American television is - that's proper TV. "

" I do get pleasure from very inconsequential things, like shopping for clothes. "

" I loved Lucille Ball growing up. "

" I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste. "

" I'm actually quite self-sufficient, so it might look as if there isn't room for anyone in my life. That isn't entirely the case. "

" I don't think anyone wants to be gay. "

" If you'd told the young Graham Norton that I'd one day have this amount of money, I'd have assumed it would have come from a lottery win. "

" The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so it's a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky. "

" Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch. "

" I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer. "

" The BBC is a victim of its own independence. "

" In terms of language, yeah we get bleeped and blurred and things, but in terms of content, I would probably say we're getting away with more here than we could get away with in Britain. And that surprised us so much! "

" All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly. "

" I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long. "

" An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot. "

" I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything. "

" I think the word is adult! "

" If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt. "

" Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean. "

" Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'. "

" I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy. "

" Some people think they're depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: 'You hate where you live, you've lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you're depressed?' "

" You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend. "

" Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!' "

" My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me. "

" The BBC will always be attacked by whoever is in government. It is that George Bush thing of 'If you're not with us you are against us.' "

" My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule. "

" Where I get bored is when I show up for a shoot and they want me to wear a feather boa. Too obvious a thing for a poof on the telly to do. "