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" A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them. "
" I don't think anyone wants to be gay. "
" Where I get bored is when I show up for a shoot and they want me to wear a feather boa. Too obvious a thing for a poof on the telly to do. "
" I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste. "
" My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me. "
" The BBC is a victim of its own independence. "
" All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth. "
" It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating. "
" If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt. "
" Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean. "
" I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy. "
" I've so exceeded what I ever wanted to do. "
" In terms of language, yeah we get bleeped and blurred and things, but in terms of content, I would probably say we're getting away with more here than we could get away with in Britain. And that surprised us so much! "
" Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'. "
" Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!' "
" Well, certainly I think American television is - that's proper TV. "
" Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do. "
" I loved Lucille Ball growing up. "
" Some people think they're depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: 'You hate where you live, you've lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you're depressed?' "
" All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly. "
" I do get pleasure from very inconsequential things, like shopping for clothes. "
" I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long. "
" I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer. "
" All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with. "
" I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it. "
" Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. "
" I am really bad at actually interviewing people. "
" The higher your profile becomes, the more aware you are that people out there might hate you. "
" The BBC will always be attacked by whoever is in government. It is that George Bush thing of 'If you're not with us you are against us.' "
" You don't want money to make you a social freak where you can only hang out with rich people. "
" Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No! "