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" Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean. "

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" I'm actually quite self-sufficient, so it might look as if there isn't room for anyone in my life. That isn't entirely the case. "

" I loved Lucille Ball growing up. "

" I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything. "

" I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it. "

" All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth. "

" I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy. "

" I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive. "

" Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. "

" A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them. "

" It's lovely to get one successful show - the chances of finding a second one are not so hot. "

" I think the word is adult! "

" I've so exceeded what I ever wanted to do. "

" One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life. "

" The BBC is a victim of its own independence. "

" Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'. "

" I spent a long time working in restaurants and making no money. It was very character-building, but I think it could have been built in a shorter time. "

" All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly. "

" Tolerance is forced on people in London. "

" I am very quick to judge. "

" Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch. "

" I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer. "

" I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness. "

" If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt. "

" If you'd told the young Graham Norton that I'd one day have this amount of money, I'd have assumed it would have come from a lottery win. "

" My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule. "

" You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend. "

" The BBC will always be attacked by whoever is in government. It is that George Bush thing of 'If you're not with us you are against us.' "

" My life could have been so grim... really, really grim. "

" I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship. "

" Well, certainly I think American television is - that's proper TV. "