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" Britain's such a twisted, weird little place. "
" I loved Lucille Ball growing up. "
" I do get pleasure from very inconsequential things, like shopping for clothes. "
" I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive. "
" I spent a long time working in restaurants and making no money. It was very character-building, but I think it could have been built in a shorter time. "
" My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule. "
" I think the word is adult! "
" It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating. "
" It's amazing how I can just ramble on for hours, isn't it? And so unentertaining or uninteresting. But I can ramble on for hours. It's a sort of terrible gift, isn't it? "
" Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. "
" My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me. "
" I've so exceeded what I ever wanted to do. "
" Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch. "
" Tolerance is forced on people in London. "
" Where I get bored is when I show up for a shoot and they want me to wear a feather boa. Too obvious a thing for a poof on the telly to do. "
" The higher your profile becomes, the more aware you are that people out there might hate you. "
" In terms of language, yeah we get bleeped and blurred and things, but in terms of content, I would probably say we're getting away with more here than we could get away with in Britain. And that surprised us so much! "
" If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt. "
" All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth. "
" The BBC is a victim of its own independence. "
" I am really bad at actually interviewing people. "
" Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'. "
" I don't think anyone wants to be gay. "
" My life could have been so grim... really, really grim. "
" My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living. "
" Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean. "
" All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly. "
" You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend. "
" Some people think they're depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: 'You hate where you live, you've lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you're depressed?' "
" Well, certainly I think American television is - that's proper TV. "
" Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!' "