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" The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around. "

Thomas A. Edison

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" I've been fascinated by the Internet from the very start. In 2001, I had made a funny black-and-white film called 'How to Dance Properly,' a short video of me dancing to a Madonna song. I sent it to 17 of my friends on a Thursday, and by Monday, one million people a day were logging on to view it. "

" My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. "

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" I've always surrounded myself with funny people. "

" Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder? "

" It is astonishing what an effort it seems to be for many people to put their brains definitely and systematically to work. "

Thomas A. Edison

" We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later. "

" Lana Turner was adorable and funny. Jimmy Stewart was such a nice person. I quickly realized that if you're not a nice person, you're not going to last in this business. I mean, once your box office starts to drop off, like Veronica Lake, they'll get rid of you fast. "

" I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track. But yes, I don't like to get Maudlin. And I have a tendency towards it. "

" It's funny how a chubby kid can just be having fun, and people call it entertainment! "

" There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast. "

J. Michael Straczynski

" Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot. "

" I'm going to take this God-given gift of being funny, and I'm going to spread it out like peanut butter on everything I do. "

" Everyone has at least one story, and each of us is funny if we admit it. You have to admit you're the funniest person you've ever heard of. "

" Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings. "

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" The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have. "

" I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny. "

" As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm thinking, 'Who cares? They're laughing.' If you go on stage, and they're laughing at you full-on for 60 minutes? You know, whatever puts them in the seats. "

Larry the Cable Guy

" The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny. "

" I love the funny and sweet moments I have with my cats, Jake and Frank, so I'm honored to be celebrating these moments at the Catdance Film Festival. "

" All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. "

" And at the time, it is funny how you can look at something and say, for example with my shoulder injury, when it first happened I said this is the worst thing that could happen to me. Why me, why now? Now I look back and say it was probably the best thing that happened to me. "

" To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. "

Thomas A. Edison

" An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it. "

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" Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. "

Thomas A. Edison

" I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. "