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" It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals. "

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" Geez, all that money we waste on space exploration; just think how many bombs that would buy! "

" Anything on paper is obsolete! "

" The Thought Police: To censor and protect. "

" The people who actually do things always suffer the slings and arrows of those who don't. "

" Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat. "

" The difference between being able to understand something and inventing it in the first place... is called genius. "

" Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea. "

" Now is the time for all good men to run like hell. "

" When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists. "

The First Thing

" In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman. "

" When trying to locate something, search your mind first. "

" The world is real. Consciousness is the illusion. "

" My to-do list is so long that it doesn't have an end; it has an event horizon. "

" Something is always simple until you try it. "

" It's funny how most activists are pacifists. "

" If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people. "

" Never underestimate the power of a simple tool. "

" Even IBM can't stand in the way of progress... for more than a decade. "

" Why are people unemployed? Because there is no work. Why is there no work? Because people are not buying products and services. Why are people not buying products and services? Because they have no money. Why do people have no money? Because they are unemployed. "

" I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe. "

" I wonder if those people shown protesting the deployment of nuclear weapons to western Europe during the Reagan era are feeling appropriately stupid today. 'Please don't take away our precious Soviet Union! - We demand the annihilation of all life on Earth!' "

" Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be. "

" Liberalism is financed by the dividends from Conservatism. "

" 1 + 1 = 2. Everything else is derived. "

Everything Else

" It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow. "

" Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years. "

" Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance. "

" If the shoe fits, it is probably worn out. "

" Temporary solutions often become permanent problems. "

" Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve. "