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" Liberalism is financed by the dividends from Conservatism. "

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" Think Tank, noun: The shower. "

" In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman. "

" It's a bit odd that nobody seems to be using the correct technical term to describe organized Islamic terrorists. They are not a faction of a religion or a social movement. They are a cult. A suicide cult. "

" Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice! "

" When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it. "

" Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat. "

" It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals. "

" Fighting a war on terrorism is like fighting against crime. We can never hope to eradicate crime, so we shouldn't bother fighting it. "

" It's easy to idealize someone that you don't know. "

" Never underestimate the power of a simple tool. "

" It's funny how most activists are pacifists. "

" Don't judge a book by its thickness either. "

" Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years. "

" The only thing that is obscene is censorship. "

" Geez, all that money we waste on space exploration; just think how many bombs that would buy! "

" Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation. "

" From each according to his ability, to each according to his ability. "

" When trying to locate something, search your mind first. "

" If the shoe fits, it is probably worn out. "

" The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish! "

" The difference between being able to understand something and inventing it in the first place... is called genius. "

" The people who actually do things always suffer the slings and arrows of those who don't. "

" The only people I've ever heard saying that disagreeing with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld is un-American or treasonous are people who disagree with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld. "

" When shooting in the dark, it is a good idea to use a machine gun. "

" Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand. "

" Something is always simple until you try it. "

" It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow. "

" Why are people unemployed? Because there is no work. Why is there no work? Because people are not buying products and services. Why are people not buying products and services? Because they have no money. Why do people have no money? Because they are unemployed. "

" I wonder if those people shown protesting the deployment of nuclear weapons to western Europe during the Reagan era are feeling appropriately stupid today. 'Please don't take away our precious Soviet Union! - We demand the annihilation of all life on Earth!' "

" You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for. "