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" The world is real. Consciousness is the illusion. "

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" Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat. "

" From each according to his ability, to each according to his ability. "

" Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be. "

" My to-do list is so long that it doesn't have an end; it has an event horizon. "

" When trying to locate something, search your mind first. "

" Never underestimate the power of a simple tool. "

" Temporary solutions often become permanent problems. "

" It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow. "

" Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice! "

" Now is the time for all good men to run like hell. "

" The difference between being able to understand something and inventing it in the first place... is called genius. "

" Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve. "

" The people who actually do things always suffer the slings and arrows of those who don't. "

" Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance. "

" When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it. "

" Think Tank, noun: The shower. "

" The only thing that is obscene is censorship. "

" Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation. "

" When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists. "

The First Thing

" Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years. "

" You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for. "

" The Thought Police: To censor and protect. "

" Even IBM can't stand in the way of progress... for more than a decade. "

" Something is always simple until you try it. "

" The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish! "

" I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe. "

" Anything on paper is obsolete! "

" Things always look better when you haven't seen them. "

" If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people. "

" It's easy to idealize someone that you don't know. "