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" The Thought Police: To censor and protect. "

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" Never underestimate the power of a simple tool. "

" Supermarket automatic doors open for me; therefore, I am. "

" When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it. "

" 1 + 1 = 2. Everything else is derived. "

Everything Else

" Even IBM can't stand in the way of progress... for more than a decade. "

" My to-do list is so long that it doesn't have an end; it has an event horizon. "

" I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe. "

" Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years. "

" When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists. "

The First Thing

" Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance. "

" Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be. "

" If the shoe fits, it is probably worn out. "

" When you talk to yourself, at least you know that someone is listening. "

" It's funny how most activists are pacifists. "

" The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish! "

" When trying to locate something, search your mind first. "

" In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman. "

" The people who actually do things always suffer the slings and arrows of those who don't. "

" Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea. "

" It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals. "

" I wonder if those people shown protesting the deployment of nuclear weapons to western Europe during the Reagan era are feeling appropriately stupid today. 'Please don't take away our precious Soviet Union! - We demand the annihilation of all life on Earth!' "

" It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow. "

" It's a bit odd that nobody seems to be using the correct technical term to describe organized Islamic terrorists. They are not a faction of a religion or a social movement. They are a cult. A suicide cult. "

" Something is always simple until you try it. "

" Things always look better when you haven't seen them. "

" Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat. "

" The world is real. Consciousness is the illusion. "

" From each according to his ability, to each according to his ability. "

" If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people. "

" The only people I've ever heard saying that disagreeing with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld is un-American or treasonous are people who disagree with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld. "