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" It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it. "
" Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. "
" The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. "
" Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on. "
" Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home. "
" Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny. "
" The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. "
" Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet. "
" The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them. "
" Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. "
" A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one. "
" There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them. "
" Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. "
" An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed. "
" A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower. "
" Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience. "
" No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech. "
" Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best. "
" Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it. "
" Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught. "
" The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening. "
" If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation. "
" Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you. "
" I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. "
" There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick. "
" It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed. "
" The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you. "
" As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith. "
" If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us. "
" If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public. "
" It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about. "