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" Never let yesterday use up too much of today. "
Will Rogers
Too Much
Up
Yesterday
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" This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die. "
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" Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth. "
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" Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. "
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" Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do. "
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" The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you. "
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" When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states. "
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" An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's. "
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" All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance. "
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" I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. "
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" So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way. "
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" The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking. "
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" Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it. "
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" The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. "
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" America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there. "
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" Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week. "
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Fall
You
" Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there. "
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Will
Over
Right
" If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production. "
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" The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself. "
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Business
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" I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. "
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Political Party
Political
" America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few. "
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America
Education
Ignorance
" Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction. "
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Chaotic
Orderly
Action
" The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got. "
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Go
Time
Now
" People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. "
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Fly
People
Bad
" I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one. "
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Last
War
" An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh. "
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Cry
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Laugh
" Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like. "
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" Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans. "
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Agree
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" Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. "
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