Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that. "

Related Quotes:

" The girls, like, in we'll say Hooters, have less clothing than the girls I worked with in those days. We thought it was wild when they just wore little bells and so forth. But today, in restaurants, some of the waitresses almost work in the nude, you know, to get business. "

" Once in a while, when I'm alone, I think about my age. I think, 'How many more years do I have on this earth?' But I can't really conceive of dying. "

" When I got out of high school, I wanted to be an actor but was getting a lot of rejections. I was getting rejected by life. My mother, God rest her soul, told me not to quit. "

" To this day, if you gave me $1,000, I really can't stand up - You can tell a joke. You're a good storyteller and a good joke teller. "

" My life was in Montreal years ago. Best food in the world. "

" It takes many years to be a great comedian. "

" In our day we went from - we went into saloons. We couldn't cross over like you can today, get a television series and all of a sudden you're a major movie star, you know. "

" When I was a younger guy doing comedy, it was a big struggle. Promoters canceled me out of clubs left and right when I called somebody a dummy or a yo-yo. Then they realized I was different. "

" So, I'm on the satellite every Sunday, no matter where we are, with the Rams. Turn on the satellite; got to watch the Rams. "

" I've never gone to comedy clubs. "

" I don't have regrets. I've never sat here and thought, 'Gee, if only I'd done 'The Man Who Came to Dinner' on Broadway, I would have been happier.' "

" I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is. "

" I don't say I was the first, because, who knows, maybe there was a guy out in Minnesota doing it before me. "

" To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it. "

" I was in World War II; I cried when they took me in the Navy. That's the last time I cried. "

" Being in the Navy, when I came home, it changed your whole life. You're 18, you go away for two and a half years, you come home - boy, you're a different person. "

" Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black. "

" I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room. "

" I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one. "

" At 90, I'm still working a couple of dates a month. My mind is very sharp on the stage, so why not? This may sound corny, but I do it because people - young and old - still come to see me, and they're very enthusiastic about my work. They treat me like the Godfather. "

" Somehow, in my head, I don't think I'll die. I know that everybody dies, of course. I just think that it'll never come to me. It's crazy, but there it is. "

" After over 50 years of headlining, I've been received very beautifully. But I always say, when you're onstage, you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's OK. "

" I always say, when you're onstage you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner. "

" Some people call me a legend and the last of the greats, and I appreciate it. "

" I want to be a dog, but I'm a pussycat. "

" I don't drink much anymore, but when I traveled with Frank Sinatra, God rest his soul, I used to drink like I could do it. He made it a test. In Vegas, the Rat Pack, which I was a little part of, drank all night and slept most of the day. Then, about 5 o'clock, we'd meet in the hotel steam room, lock the door, and steam our brains out. "

" Honestly, I didn't realize it - all of a sudden, I was 90. The years skipped by quickly. When it happened, I said, 'Where did the time go?' "

" Diana Krall I met in, I think it was Canada. She's a lovely lady. Her husband, Elvis Costello, is a great star. "

" After I graduated, I tried Broadway, which was difficult for me. It was tough to get a part on Broadway, so I just started talking to audiences at different social gatherings, and little by little I became Don Rickles - whatever that is. "

" Every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I'm always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I'm not going to offend! "